August 23, 2018

I Met My Husband Online And I’m Not Ashamed Of That

People always give me the same look when I tell them I met my husband on an online dating site. Their eyes get big. They look around like I’m telling them a shameful secret. And they say in a conspiratorial whisper that they have tried online dating too. There is absolutely no reason why in this day and age people should be ashamed of saying they tried online dating. Online dating is the number one way that people meet these days but no one wants to admit it. Everyone wants to have some fairy tale style story about bumping into their spouse at the farmer’s market or at some romantic place. But why not just tell the truth? Millions of people are online dating and meeting their significant others so we can’t be honest about how we’re meeting our partners?


I “met” my husband for the first time when I was sitting in bed at 2 AM on a weeknight. I hadn’t brushed my hair or my teeth. The woman that he messaged that night bore zero resemblance to the ball of illness sneezing in her bed. But I answered his message and he messaged back. We started talking on the phone and texting. A week later, after I was over the flu, we met for coffee. And we’ve pretty much been inseparable ever since. That might not be a rom-com worthy meeting story, or a “meet cute” as they say these days. But it’s the truth. And since we’ve been happily married for several years now I don’t think we need to lie about how we met. I’ll tell anyone that asks that we met on a dating site. I didn’t even need to use a sex offender search!

Why is there so much stigma about online dating? Dating is hard. Finding someone that you are compatible with and want to spend your life with is really hard. If you have found that then you shouldn’t have to lie about how you found it. You should be bragging to anyone that will listen that you managed to find the love of your life online. I do. And I’m not going to stop.


The nature of the social interaction is changing. These days meeting online or talking online on social media and then meeting in person is very common. Many people use Phonespector to make sure that their significant other isn’t cheating. I bet you have 20 Facebook friends right now that you’ve never actually met in person or talked to on the phone. But you still consider them friends right? Meeting people online is just a part of the fabric of our society. So why should anyone feel ashamed of meeting a romantic partner online? They shouldn’t.

So if you met the love of your life online the next time that someone asks how you met don’t lie or try to quickly come up with a story that obscures the truth. Tell the truth. Tell your story. You could inspire someone else to try and online dating and find the love of their life.